Everyone tells me college is a place to discover what we love and what we want to do. I was thinking about it yesterday and realized I've learned a few things. So here's another list.
I'm afraid I don't have what it takes to be a teacher for anyone grades 0-12 (not ruling out college though)
I love cultures
I find myself researching other religions and countries in my spare time more than researching photography techniques
I hate editing pictures
I love film art
I have very little patience for shallow movies
Considering changing my minor to International Studies
I love to learn
I love school
I do not want a career I have to take home with me, I want work to be left at work
I do not want to start my own business
Anyways, just some thoughts. Now here is a Sigur Ros song, just because I'm still in a Sigur Ros phase alright!
Favorite lyrics:
Ó, góðan daginn
Ég úr þér ríf ísjaka og grýlukertin og harðfenni og hendi út á haf Þar sem sjórinn flæðir og salt ísinn bræðir
English Translation:
Oh, good morning I pull from you icebergs and icicles and frozen snow and throw out to the sea Where the sea flows and salt melts the ice
Last week in my Institute class we studied in Joshua (can't quite remember the exact references, sorry about that) about how seriously the Lord takes gratitude. He very much expects us to be grateful. This all brings to mind President Uchtdorf's Relief Society address where he implored the women of the church to recoginze small victories. Since last Tuesday I've made a much more concentrated effort to find gratitude everywhere in my life. So I'm going to actually count my blessings and share them with you right now :)
-Iceland
-Two great jobs
-Being friends with the people I work with
-Having 10+ incredible friends all serving missions for the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
-Diversity
-Being an American
-The state of Idaho
-The city of Rexburg
-Snow
-Clouds
-The desert (it took me a VERY long time to be grateful for this, but I'm finally beginning to see its beauty)
-Las Vegas lights at night
-Sigur Ros
-A home where I feel comfortable and loved always
-Great parents
-Awesome siblings who will laugh hysterically during The Muppets movie, even if we're the only ones
-The Old Testament
-France
-BYU-Idaho
-An incredible extended family
-Cousins who are more like sisters
-California
-Ice Cream
-Sunday dinners with my family
-Simon and Garfunkel
-Holidays
-Centennial Hills Singles Ward
-My new calling as New Member Committee
Alright, so this seems like a slightly exhaustive list, but I'm just getting started. I'll leave you with one of my favorite Sigur Ros songs from the extremely touching documentary Heima.
"Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet." Bob Marley
Reading the blogs of others I've realized some things they have in common: goals they actively work toward, marriage (either working toward or recently), exciting trips, big events, etc. My blog consists of none of those things. In fact, I'm afraid my life consists of none of those things...unless you count the goal of saving for college (in which case I'm doing very poorly). For the past few days I've listed to Arcade Fire's newest album The Suburbs. Its pure genius. Driving last night I've declared it the "anthem of my rebellion." My current favorite song is right here for you to enjoy! This is the part I sing every day before I go to work:
They heard me singing and they told me to stop Quit these pretentious things and just punch the clock These days my life, I feel it has no purpose But late at night the feelings swim to the surface
In other news, my friends are leading wild and exciting lives! They've been called on missions to Ogden, Hawaii, Finland, and France! And one of my best friends was married last night. It was a gorgeous reception.
Also today was an awesome day at work! One lady really liked the shoes I helped her find! She gave me a hug and asked to speak to my manager to let her know how much she appreciated the help! Hopefully she calls customer service (like she said she would) and I get a "people's choice award," in which I could use on future resumes!
Despite how nice it is to get praise, sometimes I just get really frustrated with work. It makes me feel suffocated to think I work 2-3 jobs now and will continue to do so after I reach my goal. There will never be any rest from work for my entire life until I die. I really am afraid I'm not living my life. Call it a college-age-life-crisis if you will, but I'm concerned. Most of my friends have done awesome things like missions, marriage, traveling, volunteering, etc. by now. All I do is go to school and work. I haven't had time to volunteer for a single thing since graduating high school. Anyways, its disheartening at times.
But I am grateful to have the opportunity to move out and spread my wings, even if it is in Idaho! And I'm grateful for my family, they are my best friends and I love living with them. Also I'm grateful for employment, because even though its not my dream life, its what I need right now. And I really have great friends who are wonderful examples to me.
Anyways, thanks for listening to my rant. I am really content with life right now!
