Stories

I love stories, don't you? The other day my brilliant little sister found Jim Henson's Storyteller on Netflix. It was great.

So anyways, here's a story or two of ma'own:

Last night I came home a wee bit late....lets just say it was 1 O'clock (which it was). I share a room with my two little sisters, and coming home late has never been a problem. For some reason they don't have a problem sleeping with the lights completely on. In fact, usually that is what I come home to. But, by some random chance, the lights were off last night and they were asleep. I should mention there was a freak wind storm in Las Vegas last night, like crazy town windy. But I digress, I walked into my room and my littlest sister had been awakened. She got up and immediately grabbed her school pants and started walking to the bathroom. I asked what she was doing, she responded "getting ready for school." I said, its still night time! And she said, "I always get up this time." My little sister is so used to waking up before the sun that she honestly thought 1am was the time to get up! Sick.

All throughout high school I would wake up between 4:30 and 5:00am every morning to either catch the bus or go to early morning seminary. But since going to college, that is unthinkable to me! The average time I wake up when I'm in school is around 7...The point of all this is, I love sleep.

What I've Learned So Far

Everyone tells me college is a place to discover what we love and what we want to do. I was thinking about it yesterday and realized I've learned a few things. So here's another list.

I'm afraid I don't have what it takes to be a teacher for anyone grades 0-12 (not ruling out college though)

I love cultures

I find myself researching other religions and countries in my spare time more than researching photography techniques

I hate editing pictures

I love film art

I have very little patience for shallow movies

Considering changing my minor to International Studies

I love to learn

I love school

I do not want a career I have to take home with me, I want work to be left at work

I do not want to start my own business 

Anyways, just some thoughts. Now here is a Sigur Ros song, just because I'm still in a Sigur Ros phase alright!

Favorite lyrics: 

Ó, góðan daginn

Ég úr þér ríf ísjaka
og grýlukertin 
og harðfenni
og hendi út á haf
Þar sem sjórinn flæðir
og salt ísinn bræðir

English Translation:

Oh, good morning
I pull from you icebergs
and icicles 
and frozen snow 
and throw out to the sea
Where the sea flows
and salt melts the ice

Gratitude

Last week in my Institute class we studied in Joshua (can't quite remember the exact references, sorry about that) about how seriously the Lord takes gratitude. He very much expects us to be grateful. This all brings to mind President Uchtdorf's Relief Society address where he implored the women of the church to recoginze small victories. Since last Tuesday I've made a much more concentrated effort to find gratitude everywhere in my life. So I'm going to actually count my blessings and share them with you right now :)

-Iceland
-Two great jobs
-Being friends with the people I work with
-Having 10+ incredible friends all serving missions for the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
-Diversity
-Being an American
-The state of Idaho
-The city of Rexburg
-Snow
-Clouds
-The desert (it took me a VERY long time to be grateful for this, but I'm finally beginning to see its beauty)
-Las Vegas lights at night
-Sigur Ros
-A home where I feel comfortable and loved always
-Great parents
-Awesome siblings who will laugh hysterically during The Muppets movie, even if we're the only ones
-The Old Testament
-France
-BYU-Idaho
-An incredible extended family
-Cousins who are more like sisters
-California
-Ice Cream
-Sunday dinners with my family
-Simon and Garfunkel
-Holidays
-Centennial Hills Singles Ward
-My new calling as New Member Committee

Alright, so this seems like a slightly exhaustive list, but I'm just getting started. I'll leave you with one of my favorite Sigur Ros songs from the extremely touching documentary Heima.

 
"Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet." Bob Marley

Sprawl

Reading the blogs of others I've realized some things they have in common: goals they actively work toward, marriage (either working toward or recently), exciting trips, big events, etc. My blog consists of none of those things. In fact, I'm afraid my life consists of none of those things...unless you count the goal of saving for college (in which case I'm doing very poorly). For the past few days I've listed to Arcade Fire's newest album The Suburbs. Its pure genius. Driving last night I've declared it the "anthem of my rebellion." My current favorite song is right here for you to enjoy! This is the part I sing every day before I go to work:

They heard me singing and they told me to stop
Quit these pretentious things and just punch the clock
These days my life, I feel it has no purpose
But late at night the feelings swim to the surface


In other news, my friends are leading wild and exciting lives! They've been called on missions to Ogden, Hawaii, Finland, and France! And one of my best friends was married last night. It was a gorgeous reception.

Also today was an awesome day at work! One lady really liked the shoes I helped her find! She gave me a hug and asked to speak to my manager to let her know how much she appreciated the help! Hopefully she calls customer service (like she said she would) and I get a "people's choice award," in which I could use on future resumes!

Despite how nice it is to get praise, sometimes I just get really frustrated with work.  It makes me feel suffocated to think I work 2-3 jobs now and will continue to do so after I reach my goal. There will never be any rest from work for my entire life until I die. I really am afraid I'm not living my life. Call it a college-age-life-crisis if you will, but I'm concerned. Most of my friends have done awesome things like missions, marriage, traveling, volunteering, etc. by now. All I do is go to school and work. I haven't had time to volunteer for a single thing since graduating high school. Anyways, its disheartening at times.

But I am grateful to have the opportunity to move out and spread my wings, even if it is in Idaho! And I'm grateful for my family, they are my best friends and I love living with them. Also I'm grateful for employment, because even though its not my dream life, its what I need right now. And I really have great friends who are wonderful examples to me.

Anyways, thanks for listening to my rant. I am really content with life right now!

Wild Horses

K folks, your not going to believe this, but I have two more sons with the same title that are my favorite (well almost the same title). Once again the links are provided below.

And now, for some of my thoughts...

At work they play jazzy elevatory versions of popular "pop" songs like Easy like Sunday Morning (except its a techno version) Beat It by Michael Jackson, and Creep by Radiohead. I have to say...I'm not a fan...At first Beat It was disturbing, but Creep...thats just wrong. I have a lot of thinking time while I repeatedly fix shoes and occasionally help customers and I can't help but think "What the crap is Creep doing playing in a shoe store, what kind of message is that?" Lyrics include: "I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo, I don't belong here." If I was the average customer with time to listen to the lyrics I would be a little off put by such lyrics. In fact the song "Creep" was what finally pushed me over the edge and realize I really didn't belong at LVA...anyways, just a thought...

In other news, I've seen multiple people in the last month that I haven't seen since I've graduated from high school. I realize its only been about three years, but its still a little weird and kind of exciting.

Lastly, I've got myself a Pinterest. Its my downfall. I love it so much. I saw a picture on facebook that I found awesome, I dragged my mouse over it to repin it, only to discover that I wasn't on Pinterest and I may have a problem.

PS My favorite line from "Wild Horses" by The Rolling Stones is "Lets do some living after we die."

Trouble

Just the other day I realized something. Not one, not two, but THREE of my favorite songs have the same title: TROUBLE! Pretty wild, eh? You can listen to all three with the fancy youtube links provided below!

I've been reading other peoples blogs and boy they sure are great! I hope I can come up with some more interesting content. 

So I work at a shoe store by the name of DSW. We have a diverse staff at DSW. There is one cross dresser who I enjoy working with a lot, she's really nice, some gay guys; you know, just diverse. But today at closing I heard my coworkers laughing to each other.They said "I thought I saw you at Fremont, I recognized your smile!" to my manager. I asked what was going on? She said oh he dresses in drag! BUT, here's the thing. I could not tell if they were kidding. Seriously, half the drive home this is all I could think about. My manager could be gay, but I never thought a drag queen. And they sounded so jokey! How could it be real! But I do already work with a cross dresser! These are the mysteries of life. 

In other news! I have really been watched out for as of late. I feel so blessed. Recently I actually have been troubled. Worries about how I will pay for the next year of college plagued my every thought and consumed all chance of a positive hopeful attitude. Within two days, though, all these things have happened: two government loan offers (exactly enough for school), my job officially back at the library when I return to school, another housing discount at The Ridge that I hadn't realized before, a semi-commitment from the Photography company for full time work, and this week four jobs! I feel so blessed.

I've been considering progression as of late. Buddhists believe in reincarnation. Your reincarnated according to your level of progression, so if someone isn't doing as well Buddhists simply realize they have not progressed as much. I love that concept. Life is progression. I wish I could sit back and have complete faith that everything will work out (because really, it always does), but instead I mostly get seriously worried and restless. But you know what? Thats ok, because I'm learning and progressing. 

And now for a favorite quote: "The Dalai Lama when asked him what surprised him most about humanity he answered, 'Man. Becuase he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money in order to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then does having never really lived." 

Happy Sunday Everybody!

Its been a successful Sunday if you ask me! I went to an Interfaith Community forum. They are my absolute favorite. I get giddy about them! Last week was sexual morality, today the topic was evolution. It was kind of confusing for the most part; much too vast of a subject to cover in a few minutes per religion. Nonetheless it was a fascinating experience as always. I thoroughly enjoyed speaking with the Baha'i faith representative. He was so sincere, truthful, and purely awesome.

Also today was the Primary Program. Bishop Rose explained the reason we have the primary program once a year is to remind us who we need to become like, little children. I loved that. In my singles ward my testimony was confirmed once again of the power of the scriptures. Also I am so exciting to have a visiting teaching companion more proactive than I am! So sweet!

I am hoping to take up French again. J'adore cette language (English, whatevs).

It's About Time!

So I apologize for being the ultimate slacker blogger. But, what can I say? I've been relatively busy. Some weeks its non stop work, other weeks are more slow. I have four jobs. Those include but are not limited to DSW, School Photography at Capture Studio, Henderson Pavilion, and odd jobs for my Mom at Journey Education! The Lord is really taking care of me. Every week its a surprise and I never really know what it holds, but random things always turn up and save me! I've been attending the best institute class ever. Old Testament with Brother Fatheringham. I've been wanting to take his class since I was a senior in High School! I am loving it so much. Every Tuesday my mind is blown, similar to how I used to react to my philosophy classes. So needless to say, its the greatest.

I've been enjoying a few British shows like Dr. Who and Sherlock. Too bad British shows are so short! My mission friends are sorely missed by me. I talk about them a lot to my friends here in Vegas. I'm worried their getting sick of it. Belle and Sebastian have been greatly comforting lately. Las Vegas is sometimes impressive. The weather is decent. I miss the snow. And Rexburg. I detest the desert just as much as I always have if not more. Time is flying though! And soon I'll be back in my frozen paradise!

Goals for Las Vegas

I know this sounds crazy, but I am actually looking forward to moving home! Who would have thought! Needn't you worry, I am still loving Rexburg and always will, but a change in scenery is welcome.

Upon my return to my home town I will do the following:

-Finish the Book of Mormon for the year (some of which will be read in French)
-Make enough money for the following year of school
-Do my visiting teaching!
-Go to the temple once a month
-Serve my very best in whatever calling I have
-Attend mission prep on Wednesday nights
-Attend Old Testament Institute Tuesday nights
-Attend FHE Monday nights!
-Redecorate my room with the sista's
-Exercise at least three times a week
-Make all my dresses modest by employing my sewing skills
-Read one large intense book (TBD, any suggestions?)
-Run a 5k and a 10k
-Follow a budget!
-Serve wherever I go!
-Photography (which should be easy because I'm officially a hired photographer...daunting? very)

I've noticed when I stay in one place for a long period of time I'm become kind of complacent...especially here where all the crap loads of pressure I used to have with school has dissipated and now all I have to do is go to work! I've spent a lot of time playing and not enough time reading, frankly. Though, I am reading What I Wish I Knew When I Was Single by John Bytheway (Its pretty interesting).

Alright, good day to you sir!

Need. Work.

In my life I have had numerous jobs. Mostly short term obscure jobs. Consequentially, I almost always have more then one job at a time, except for when I am in school (in which case I have one glorious library job). It has become somewhat of a joke among my friends how I always manage to have 4 or 5 jobs at a time. And whats funny is people see this and think "wow, what a hard position." The sad reality is those 5 jobs amount to about 30 hours a week. Soon the time will come to leave my simple full time job in Idaho and return to the complicated web of work I've never quite grown accustomed to in Las Vegas. 

Yet, if there is any one truth I have grown to know in my years of college experience, is that everything always works out. Its just the process to get to that point that is a bit painful.

This last semesters finals were the hardest I've yet to encounter. Averaging 5 or 6 hours a sleep a night. Stress like I have never experienced. And the thought came to mind on more than one occasion "I have no idea how I am going to get this done, well time to sacrifice sleep" or "This is the most work I have ever had to do." After multiple mental breakdowns, poor grades (well B's), a new Dr. Pepper affinity, and too many days without a shower, I'm here to say I survived! And if I could survive that heck of a week, I'm sure I can survive a few crappy jobs!

Why I Want to Live in France

In light of the recent most patriotic day of the year, 4th of July, I would write a little entry about why I want to live in France! My French teacher was born and raised in the south of France. It has been incredibly interesting to hear her thoughts about America and France, both good and bad. Here are some negative points I've learned about her life in France: her life was crappy, for a time they lived in the ghetto, you don't look people in the eye in France, it is incredibly worldy, its nearly impossible to find a job, gas is nearly ten dollars a gallon, it is very expensive to live there, and people don't go out to eat as much as we do because of it. Positives about France: she loves history and misses seeing castles and midevil villages every weekend, her home was ancient and gorgeous, France is gorgeous, its her home, its more democratic than America.

Some specifics differences:

Education:

France-you graduate high school with a bachelors, university (medical, law, business, all of it) is free and nearly everyone is admitted, you take an average of 30 credits a semester, college is HARD and competitive, everyone gets an hour break for lunch every day, classes always have over 300 students

America-High School graduation rate is incredibly low, even worse is college gradation. We pass through with bare minimum education in order to make the grade and get out of here. Standards are lowered so more people can graduate. Classes are over-sized too, but not as competitive. We take an average of 15 credits per semester in college.

Health Care:

France-Health care is all free (provided for by the tax money), no one pays for health, doctors get paid about a fourth of what they are paid here, they make in house visits, its more likely doctors are sincere and caring because they are paid less, medical school is twice as long in France (8 years) as it is here and its free. I have a secret wish to use the French health care system...sorry to smooch off their taxes...

America-Insurance companies rule your health, your life always has a price tag, many doctors and people working in the medical business are solely motivated by money

Food:

France and America-Each public school usually has a chef who buys organic food, the kids get full course balanced meals, my teacher is frequently disgusted by what we eat here, if the schools in France served kids what they do in public schools here, they would be sued. Or as my teacher says "Why don't they just give them poison!" In France people usually eat every four hours and eating time is sacred to all.

National Debt:

France and America are both in a huge economic recessions, probably more so in France. But America is in debt for getting in war, France is in debt for helping its people. What is more noble than caring for your people, giving them the best education and health possible? Unfortunately its lead to their downfall with scarcity in work and very high taxes, but the principles of France remain the same and those principles I admire greatly.

Darn you Social Norms!

So I've been a little frustrated lately with something I like to call social norms. Here are all the problems I'd like to blame on my socioeconomic situation.

1. My lack of dating. Who cares if I go on dates? What does it matter, really? I have lots of friends, lots of guy friends. I have a lot of fun. And I'm independent financially, so who needs dates. Why do I feel all this pressure to be on dates? Thanks culture.
2. Getting a degree. If someone could explain to me the intrinsic value of an associates or bachelors or anything, that would be awesome. I love learning, why do I need a label to prove to the world that I am educated?
3. I need good grades. Who cares? I certainly do. But it drives me crazy. Thanks for the outside pressure.
4. I need to be super skinny, petite, and dress way girly cute. Who am I trying to impress? And why do girls need to dress super girly to impress boys.

Ok I think its obvious I subconsciously would like all these things, but I don't appreciate the outside superficial pressure.

This Week...

This week has been one of those weeks that will go down in the history of my life. It goes a little something like this:

Starting Sunday I woke up with a full blown fever. Most likely upwards of 100 degrees. I was dying. Chills and sweaty at the same time. I was sore, exhausted, and it bit the big one. But the service that was all around warmed my heart immensely. Throughout the day my roommates were more than encouraging and caring. Then my dear friends Rachel and Eric brought over a soft blanket, a movie (which they watched with me), soup, apples, and a water bottle. Rachel was so kind and scratched my back and breaded my hair...which is my favorite, what can I say? It was so nice. Then that night I finally left the house and walked to the park as the sun was setting. It was beautiful outside. Idaho in the summer...words can hardly describe. Then Sunday night my roommate asked if I wanted to get a blessing. I decided on yes, and at 11:55pm two of my friends (one FHE brother), graciously came over in Sunday dress to give me a blessing. I love of having priesthood members so close. I feel like that is the ultimate service.


Ok so I'll blur through Monday-Thursday. I was struggling with fatigue, fever, a serious cough, mucus, and on and off chills. The havoc this week has let lose on my GPA is daunting to say the least. So I'll do a quick list of the damage:

-missed Christian History (losing, attendance, participation, and homework points)
-missed Humanities (not missing much, I just really like that class)
-only worked an hour and a half...so I essentially missed an entire work week at the library
-didn't do the Christian History homework missing those points
-didn't do my Literature journaling, also losing points
-turned in an incomplete blouse for sewing that took me without exaggeration over 24 hours to make and its our biggest project
-didn't to do the reading for sewing, getting a 0 for homework that week
-didn't finish my French homework
-most likely failed a French test

Alright so there you have it. I'm a little numb to how bad that all is, but I can only imagine. This semester has been awfully hard. I'm more than certain B's are in my future and not to be melodramatic, by my future hopes and dreams are also in the toilet if I get B's. Not a big deal.

OK, so in the positive, here are some more random acts of service I was the recipient of this week:

-My work was more than understanding of my being sick. They were very kind and just wanted me to get better.
-Lots of people expressed a sincere wish for my speedy recovery.
-I secretly like it when people say I don't look so good because it makes me feel vindicated for feeling crappy. Like they aren't saying "hey suck it up your fine" they say "yikes, you don't look so good, you should get some rest" or as my French teacher said "you look like you just got digged out of the grave" :) one of my personal favorites.
-I was walking around the pines clinging to my French book and looking for a classmate who lives in my building as a guy (the manager or the manager's husband) was fixing the vacuum. He asked if I was ok and I said I was sick. He said do you need medicine? We have all sorts of medicine! And ran up and got me a whole box of flu medicine!
-Someone told me they like my comments in Literature!!! :)
-Everyone was so kind in the sewing lab. They were all very patient and helpful. My teacher even came till 9pm to help us finish up. I was a little embarrassed for being so far behind with the project and the due date so close, but she didn't let on at all that she was disappointed.
-I called the pharmacist and nurse at the Student Health Center looking for guidance. They were totally empathetic and helpful.

Ok and to finish, Friday. So today I woke up and resolved a trip the doctor was in order. I called my friend Becca and she was more than willing to drive me to the student health center and her boyfriend, also my friend, said he'd pick me up. It was so nice because I've been having a lot of trouble breathing, especially when walking any sort of long distances.

I get to the doctor. The nurse informs me I have a 100 temp and 92 blood oxygen level (it should be between 94-100 and she is concerned). The doctor comes in and feels my breathing and can't hear much, which is also concerning. He deems it necessary to have chest x-rays. Which I do and afterwards we discover there is an infection in my lungs, they are inflamed and a patchy mess from what I see. I do a breathing treatment. And he decides to treat me for pneumonia. He prescribes a steroid, anti-biotic, inhaler (my personal favorite), and I'm taking mucinex and regular pain killers. It all makes sense now!

Its been so difficult to breathe and function, but I am so grateful for the service I have been the recipient of this week. This has been a long post but I hope a helpful life update. I rarely speak of actual events in my life on my blog, so hope you enjoyed it!

Please, Respect my Faith

Today I read one of the best responses to the Book of Mormon Musical that I find especially accurate and I agree with 100%

This is from one of my favorite blogs http://gentlyhewstone.com/

Here goes:

A lot of wise things have been said of this runaway Broadway hit, but this review is by far the best:

The main thrust of its claims about Mormonism is that Joseph Smith made it all up, and that his message does not apply to the modern world. It portrays Mormons as naïve and simplistic. Of course, Mormons are also a cheerful, polite, and well-meaning bunch, and as such, are basically harmless. But the only way for them to truly do good in the modern world is to change their story so it applies to current problems, which should be fine since their scriptures were made up in the first place. This is all very appealing to the audience and to theater critics. They are made to feel superior to the delusional Mormons, while at the same time, feel good about themselves for acknowledging that it is important to help relieve suffering in the world. They don’t have to feel bad about lampooning the Mormons since the show acknowledges that Mormons are nice people, and since it is just satire, after all.

The creators of the show are welcome to their opinion, and even to advertise it in a propagandistic play (for what else is the play’s value?), but such lazy cultural tropes, in a better world, would at least be honest about the basis of their approach: an immediate rejection that the Book of Mormon, and religious beliefs in general, might have any grounding in historical fact.  Certainly, again, anyone is free to conclude that such is not the case after they have considered and investigated it, but until they’ve done so, how are they honestly qualified to assert so boldly that it isn’t true? 

Nobody would care a lick for a random layman’s scathing indictment of particle physics or macroeconomics.  Why is it OK, even encouraged, in our society to simply spew hot air about religion?  Why is so much respect accorded to the mockers of faith, especially when they present mere prejudice as entertainment? 

Far more offensive than any possible content to the show is that those who participate in it, including the audience, are so satisfied of their superiority, despite a massive ignorance of what they claim to definitively scorn.

Commentary About my Life From Shakespeare

How happy some o'er other some can be!
Through Athens (Rexburg) I am thought as fair as she.
But what of that? Demetrius (other boys I like) thinks not so;
He will not know what all but he do know.
And as he errs, doting on Hermia's eyes,
So I, admiring of his qualities.
Things base and vile, holding no quantity.
Love can transpose to form and dignity.
Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,
And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
Nor hath Love's mind of any judgement taste;
Wings, and no eyes, figure unheedy haste.
And therefore is Love said to be a child,
Because in choice he is oft beguiled.
As waggish boys in game themselves forswear,
So the boy Love is perjured everywhere.

Helena from A Midsummer Nights Dream

Thank you Shakespeare for summarizing my life and the lives of nearly every single girl I know!

Today, play by play

Woke up at 7:00am
Work by 8:00am
Christian History class at 10:15
Sewing class at 11:30
Work 1:00-2:30
Lunch and French HW I put off 2:30-3:00! (that was a nice treat)
French 3:15-4:15
French Tutor 4:30-5:30
Scripture Reading/Nap 5:30-6:15
Home to drop stuff off and eat 6:16-6:50 (so nice)
7:00-8:00 Faculty Reading (SO great!)
8:00-11:15 Homework
11:15-11:45pm Went to old FHE brothers house to fix my lap top chord and watched the last little bit of Last of the Mohicans
12:00pm-12:30 eat dinner and and finish homework. Hopefully go to bed at 1 or 1:30am.

Wow. How lame am I? I finally go home to take a break and spend that time blogging about what I did today. Well now you know, eh? :)

In other news I heard a sobering non-fiction story at the Faculty Reading. She told a story about her life of being a 40 year old unmarried Mormon woman.

Anyone want to be my boyfriend, eh?

Or at least, anyone want to go on a date? The semester is already half way over and I've yet to reach my one date a semester quota.

Some relatives think my lack of dating is due to my busy lifestyle.

The Time Has Come

Ok so I have not written for a while because I have been busier than crap. I'm sorry for the ultimate anti-climatic story about Thursday. Basically we met some new friends and they said they would build us a bike, which they have yet to do. But the good news is we are all still friends.

Random Thoughts:
-The Fall is once again my least favorite time of the year. I could be in one of several places and I loath that uncertainty.
-I am rapidly running out of funds.
-I saw two of my favorite bands in SLC last weekend: Iron and Wine and Ratatat
-There is still a slight ringing in my right ear from how loud Ratatat was.
-That trip was incredibly relaxing. I threw all my worries out the window and just lived. It was beautiful.
-I have some incredibly talented friends/acquaintances. Right now I am listening to a rock opera called Deep Love that some of my friends/acquaintances made and it is beautiful.
-My apartment kind of drives me crazy.
-I'm not sure where my home is any more. Its a really wierd feeling.
-I'm learning FRENCH!
-I'm so tired.
-Every Tuesday I don't eat sugar, white flour, or white rice.
-I did yoga last week!
-Its going to be raining a lot for the next few days here and I am secretly overjoyed.
-I want to go to bed.
-I miss my family.
-Literature and Humanities are my favorite classes.
-I joined Philosophical Society.
-I have a series distaste for change.
-I adore BYU-Idaho.
-Today after work and classes, I went to indulge in the form of a delicious chocolate cookie, but when I went to make that purchase I only had 60 cents and it was 90 cents. I walked away saddened by my craving that came to no avail. Then a girl ran up after me and said "Hey!" and proceeded to give me the cookie. She actually bought the cookies for me. I searched for words adequate to express my gratitude, but none came to mind. She simply walked away and waved as I stammered a thank you. It was such a tender miracle.

First Semester Reunion

Ok thats all. G'night.

Thursday Night

Tonight was a night completely unlike any night I have yet to experience in my nineteen years. It all began with a plan to attend yoga with Ratie, a true kindred spirit. As I walked to meet her before class, to my surprise, she informed me class does not begin until next week. So we concluded to have an adventurous girl night. I began venting about the latest development of one of my various crushes. As we walked a young fellow by the name of Revin rides quickly past, making odd noises on a bike with one very large wheel and one very small wheel. "Do mine eye's deceive me?" asks Ratie. Yet this was no mistake. We both agreed he seemed like a very cool guy. On the other side of the building we see him again riding around in circles. She explains our new desire to be his friend. Within a matter of minutes he initiates the handshake of friendship. Moments later someone from the top of the building calls out,

"Is that Ashley!?"

"Yes!"

"Really?!"

"Yes."

Well none of us were Ashley, but those guys came out nonetheless. These new two gentlemen I had met on a previous occasion. One was extremely tall and the other average height with jeans shorts, striped v-neck, and a sideways baseball hat. I soon wanted to change out of my gym clothes before embarking on a what was for sure a totally unique Thursday Night Adventure that would put many weekends at home to shame.

What carried out for the night was so unreal I questioned its reality and still have my doubts even now...

To be continued...

I Dreamed a Dream

I have a particular fondness for dreams; and I don't mean dreams like goals or aspirations, but dreams that come subconsciously in your mind totally separate from your control. This weekend I talked about dreams with some of my aunts and I've decided I have a new dream (real life dream): Make a short documentary of friends and family telling stories of their most vivid dreams.

And speaking of dreams, mine have repeated themes or subjects, and I'd like to list those here:

Being forced to go back to High School
Getting to England but never making it to the rest of Europe
Tatoo's (usually an Ed Hardy rose)
Missing the first day of school/not being prepared for the first day of school
Getting engaged unexpectedly
Having an awful wedding
Really disgusting bathrooms, like the most horrific thing ever
My cousin driving and getting in a car accident when she doesn't have a license (even though she does)
My siblings getting kidnapped and I have to save them

I love dreams because they exist apart from reality. They live only in our own minds and can never really be shared with anyone else. They evoke moods and feelings that can be incredibly powerful despite their lack of reality. The more I retell my dreams, I begin to understand where the subjects originate.

Anyways, here are some of my favorite pictures I've taken recently :)

You Make My Dreams Come True

Last night I get a text from my good friend Garth. He informs me he is willing to sell me his Canan Rebel T2I for significantly less than it usually costs. I was so excited I could hardly sleep! I have been saving for this forever. It is such an unexpected blessing. My parents have been totally supportive and it makes me so excited. Whats more, Garth really believes in my artistic ability. I feel like I need to succeed because he really think I can. A lot of people have given me this encouragement and it makes me thrilled.

So here is my new challenge to myself: On my journey starting this weekend, I am going to document document document. Take video and photo of all the places I'll see and all the things I'll do. I am so excited. When I come home (Rexburg) I will edit it all and compile it by Monday. Thats my goal. And I'm sticking to it!

I am just so happy. I have been daydreaming about this for so long...Its such a powerful camera...Wow I just can't believe this...Anyways, hopefully I will have time to delve into the magic that is before me...

I'm Kind of Crazy

Recently I realized my blog entries are unusually long for a blog. And there is a serious lack of photos. Which is disappointing considering I'm someone who loves art and pictures in general. I want to create a better blog for you mystery reader! And so  thats my goal...Though, I probably wont be super successful so don't get your hopes up too high!

Today was the windiest day ever. But once again, a breathtaking sunset. I don't know how Rexburg does it. We don't have mountains, its fetching cold, and very windy, but the sunsets are the most amazing I have ever seen. The sky is all sorts of colors every night: pink, orange, red, blue, purple, green...Ok, maybe not all those colors, but wow its beautiful. I love going home before dark just so I can see it.

I love the people up here at BYU-I. I love this university. And I absolutely love how well our choir did singing in General Conference! I can't believe how much the BYU-I Center looks like the conference center! It was weird seeing the choir perform on screen cause it literally looked like they were just singing at devotional. Boy I wish I was at conference just to hear them sing. Very impressive. 

PS I'm stoked for the week break. Everything is working out very smoothly and it should be a much wanted break from the nonstop crazy that is college. 

Hare Krishna!

Is College Supposed to be Fun?

As the end of the semester comes dangerously close, some thoughts have dawned upon my worn down mind...Ought I to have fun in college? Now regardless of the intensely philosophical discussion I could spark with this question, lets focus on the prima facie (face value). This semester I've worked and participated in some fun activities...watched movies, sang songs, helped make films, laughed a lot with roommates, went to Utah, played futsal, ate a lot of crap...sounds like a decent college experience to me. But, without a doubt the vast majority of my time is spent working, going to school, or doing homework. These seems appropriate though. I think what troubles me though is as the semester ends, I am getting older. Closer to graduation and closer to applying to grad school. What troubles me is my lack of substance for my resume. I literally have been involved with nothing in college. School, the library, and a brief relationship with I-Comm and Photographic Society. Whats even more disheartening is I have a good friend I'll call Marty (and this person embodies all friends I have like this) who is involved in all sorts of things: I-Comm to the extreme, Get Connected Council, Student Ambassadors, Philosophy Society, Sports, Honor Code thing, etc...And the thing is Marty is getting a full tuition scholarship because he is involved!!! What!?!?! Ok he is not involved in all these things, but he is on the Honor Code Council as a director of advertising or something. He literally stumbled upon the position and didn't even realize he was getting a scholarship from it. Or Lars, who's a director of Get Connected or an intramural sport who also has a scholarship from being involved!

What makes me so shocked by all of this is I spend every second (hyperbole) trying to get straight A's. And by George, I may have done it this semester (KNOCK ON WOOD!). There is something that a college student prizes more than money and a boyfriend (hyperbole), and that is time! I spend all my time working, working, working, to make money and get straight A's so I can get more money to pay for school. It is an activity largely done alone, makes you pale, fat, exhausted, and causes a great amount of stress. But people like Lars and Marty get to be involved, surrounded by friends, do something they love, and have something to put on their resume and STILL get the same results I get from stressing over homework and tests.

This all is a little crazy I realize. But its something I've been mildly concerned about. I am incredibly happy all the time here. But its weird to me seeing people out having fun times in the week and still getting a scholarship. But to each his own!

Life

This weekend was fantastic. I spent it with one of my best friends Becca on an impromptu trip to Provo. We met up with Jessica who we went to High School with. Then we went to the Festival of Colors, got covered in chalk (I still have purple in my hair!), got Indian food at the Bombay House, went to the Carl Bloch exhibit at BYU, and had creamery ice cream and COOKIES AND CREAM MILK! Which is way cheaper and bigger at BYU by the way! I drove back with some very great friends. The radio didn't work so we sang songs. Sometimes we made up songs, but it mostly consisted of Bob Dylan, The Beatles, and Simon and Garfunkel. I couldn't of had a more ideal trip. It was beautiful in every way.

Now I'm back home and flustered as ever. I have like four places I need to be today, a farely large portfolio due tomorrow, I need to find a place to live in Provo asap, find a way to get to California next week even more asap, friends birthdays, not to mention its my last week in my apartment that I love dearly with roommates I love even more. I have a big test on Thursday, haven't even started studying. And three group projects due next week and two finals. And to pack up and move out. Plus white glove. No big deal. Seriously. But all together, its kind of overwhelming. 

I'm tired and looking forward to a break in two weeks. But also terribly horribly indescribably sad for this semester to end. For more reasons than that I'm afraid of finals. I've loved this semester greatly. I love my friends most of all. I've met a lot of amazing people who inspire me to be excellent, happy, creative, and fun. 

My life is good. Real good. 

I'm a Feminist, and I'm a Mormon

We have been learning about feminism in Philosophy lately. I've considered myself a feminist since last year in Philosophy when I learned what feminism actually is. Lately its been the favorite joke at work between me and my awesome friend Becca that Jamie (our only male coworker) is a sexist. I'm not sure how funny he thinks it is, but its hilarious, truly. We always joke about the man oppressing us. Anyways, it really is funny. And it doesn't sound like it on here, but take my word for it!

Anyways, in class today my philosophy teacher (now a stake president!) said how closely feminism works with LDS doctrine. He said somebody in our class should begin a talk with "Hi my name is so and so and I'm a feminist!" Just to get everyones attention. And then he said, "But not in my stake!"

Feminism is an incredibly broad philosophy. So much so that saying I'm a feminist doesn't say very much about me without going into further detail. So here are some quick thoughts: women have obviously been oppressed throughout history. Aristotle maybe is the biggest sexist ever saying "the male is by nature superior, and the female inferior; the one rules, and the other is ruled." I'm told this is one of Aristotle's more tame sexist quotes. The media and common culture treat women as objects to be enjoyed by men. Women do NOT want to be equal with men. What does that even mean? And whats so great about men that we would want to be their equals? We just want common respect and balanced power. Feminism is a philosophy of caring. We say be partial to your family and loved ones! But obviously, still support justice.

Where I disagree with feminism though, is they claim gender is completely a social construct. One is not born a woman but becomes one. (and whats interesting is according to society, lesbians are not women because "women" as defined by society, are meant to please work with a man) I think gender is eternal. Though the question remains, what is female-ness? What is male-ness? This is a question I don't think anyone has the answer to. But alas, I'm not sure it is necessary these questions are answered at all.

Also after class I was joking with my good friend Khand about making a profile on the mormon.org saying something along the lines of "I have short spiky hair, I'm a feminist, and I'm a Mormon." :)

Lastly, in English today a student gave a presentation on homosexual couples and raising kids. He did the research and found kids are exactly the same with heterosexual and homosexual parents, except children from the latter homes tended to value school more. I find it always fascinating how open minded people are here. I love that I am at a very conservative school and never feel like anything is slanted one way.

Ok, so there's my controversial post for the day. Good night!

Top 5 Places I'd Like to Visit in AMERICA

So tonight I stayed up really late talking to my roommate about places we've been to in America. Recently my desires to explore have taken an unexpected change to places in my home country, the good ole' USA. So in no particular order, here's my top 5:

1. San Francisco, California. Last year a couple of my friends took a spontaneous trip up to San Fran while I was still in Rexburg. I was sorely disappointed I could not join them in their escapade. And the same year my own parents went there just for funsies! One day I will have my glorious day in the San Francisco Bay!

2. Portland, Oregon. Everyone I've ever met from Portland loves it. To be honest, this is the current place I would like to live when I have a family. Its green, cultured, and has seasons! And tons of overcast!

3. Seattle, Washington. If anyone knows me well, they'll know I want to visit (or possibly live) in Seattle.Nirvana started here! And so did Death Cab for Cutie and Dave Matthews! Something great must be happening in Seattle! Plus it rains! A LOT! And hello hum wall and gnome!!

4. New York, New York. This is a new desire, but there is so much going on in New York! Hello Metropolitan Museum, Broadway, Central Park, The Empire State Building, The Statue of Liberty, etc. Need I say more?

5. Well I can't really think of a 5th one, so I'll go with Chicago, Illinois. The Brendan Leonard Show. THIS AMERICAN LIFE! And my awesome roommate Tiffany is from Chicago. So there you go.

So Anyways...

I am officially pale. There's no denying it. I was talking to my roommate about something and said "well I'm tan." Or something like that. And she said, no Taylor, your pale. As if trying to desperately grasp for air, I said I'm tan! But to my complete horror I looked again in the mirror with clear eyes, and there was no denying, I am pale.

Bob Dylan. I love that guy.

I got sick again, but feel worlds better right now! And started my homework super late...but luckily I still have a few hours of homework time before I go crazy and decide I have to go party.

I think I'm taking floral arrangement next semester. I'm pretty stoked. Especially because I just went to the Bridal Flower Show here and it was incredibly inspiring.

Keeping it brief...here are some things I love:

Introspection
This American Life
Being Human
Lap Tops
the Weather
this crazy guy who is playing the guitar way loud upstairs
my awesome secret study spot
cool lighting
How I started talking to a "model" at the bridal show because I thought I knew him, then on second thought I didn't. Oops.
Indie guys. What can i say?
Sammy's
Folk music
COOKIES 'N' CREAM MILK
That Brittany had her baby!!!!!!

Listen to this playlist: Hippie

Thoughts of the Day

There has been this conflict in my mind lately as to epistemology. Epistemology is the philosophy of thought...basically. Where do the thoughts of Americans come from. I've realized people who haven't taken philosophy tend to have a very closed mind, even though they don't realize it. Many people I'm surrounded by are just so terribly closed minded. I personally need to work on this. But where do these closed minded notions come from? Society? Brainwashing? Their own thoughts?

In particular, war has been on my mind. War is insane. For the most part I simply don't understand it. I was just talking to my roommates and being a bit obnoxious quizzing them about the most peaceful countries in the world. They mocked France saying they've never won a war. My roommates boyfriend said all the other countries are pancies and too afraid to stand up for what they believe. And I know a great majority of Idahoins (way to generalize Taylor, speaking of cloesmindedness...) anyways, a lot of Idahoins are ultra conservative. Madison county is like 90% Republican. So as my roommates boyfriend (who is a very nice guy and I have no problems with) raves about how every country that isn't in a war is a pansy, I couldn't help bit think how crazy that is. I said "maybe those countries value the lives of their citizens?" Then let it go, I was outnumbered, and I really don't think they were in the mood for a philosophical argument about the necessity or lack thereof of war. 

Why do you have to go to war to fight for what you believe in? In many instances it seems America was trying to "defend" what we believed to countries that had very little to do with us. It is the same with the Government getting involved in the affairs of citizens personal lives. Like marriage. What in the world does a separate Government institution have to do with the marriage of two people? Sure there are taxing reasons and such, but why is that even in existence? 

We need to declare peace. That is what it says in the scriptures. The only time we should go to war is to defend our family and freedom (and I'm sure there are other reasons, but I don't feel like looking it up right now). But the point is, it is to defend! 

I think its incredibly interesting that being at a Mormon school with mostly conservative teachers, I'm finding my thoughts turn to a more and more liberal standpoint. I love that. It makes me safely feel I am not being brainwashed and they totally leave it to us as students to discover our opinions. Classes are built to provoke thought and leave it to the students to decide what is right.

Ok, this was definitely a rant. Not a very good one at that. But I wish people would be open minded. I wish I was better at being more open minded. I support peace. I support countries like France, Denmark, and Sweden that are very happy and socialist. They are functioning well even though they aren't in war and "defending what they believe in." (though it is sad they are the least religious countries in the world). And, as always, I love BYU-Idaho.

Ok, NOW I have this off my chest. Thank you. 

Schedule Time

Before I begin, I'd like to make it clear I love planning and registering for classes. But sometimes it can get pretty frustrating. I had this dream schedule planned since January of this year! I'd take Art History, Spirituality in the Arts, Christan History, Fundamentals of Literary Interpretation, and Practical Homemaking. I'd get out at 12:30 on Monday and Wednesday, 4:45 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, every day would start at 9:45, and NO classes Fridays! Well things took a very serious turn for the worst when I talked to a Humanities department guy and realized Art History 201 is not needed for my major. Its game time for me. I can't afford to take three classes all willy nilly (Christian History, Practical Homemaking, and evidently Art History were unnecessary). So I've just spent the last two or three hours revising my schedule. I still have no class Friday which is wonderful. But the rest of the schedule is just not ideal. No fun classes. My major classes are just never offered! So I have very little options especially because I am so far along with foundations and my major. So here is the final cut for classes (unless something else happens like they get full before I can register, which probably will happen): Foundations Capstone, French, Family Foundations, Spirituality in the Arts, and Fundamentals of Literary Interpretation. Tuesdays schedule is basically the same. But on Monday and Wednesday I have class at 9, then work for 5 hours, and then class from 3:15-6:00pm! I love that I keep breaking all my scheduling rules. That is so stinking late. But I think its good cause I'll get more work time in and then maybe I can work less on Friday (which most likely I wont, and I'll just work more...) Anyways, next semester is dry pure unadulterated no nonsense school time. Eh. 

But on the bright side! It will be warmer, Snoasis will come back!, new ward (not that I don't love my ward, but it'll be fun to change), new apartment (dido), new people, and Keri and Rachel will be back. Its going to be real good. 

Good Times

Remember that one time when I have two English assignments due this week...and remember how my teacher said they are both probably going to take 5 hours each to complete...It is terrible...

Also I have a test on music theory tomorrow. I am hosed. I don't know what the fetch is going on.

Lastly, I still need to do all my regular homeworks. Ouch.

But on the bright side! I love my life.

Here I go again...

Maybe the best wedding picture of all time...Just sayin

I'm in love...

with this dress...

Love natural lighting

This picture needs no explanation for its brilliance.

I LOVE the blurry. 

beautiful...

I have all but decided I want a pale pink wedding dress like this...Or I just want this dress...

vintage victory :)

Well my wedding obsession subsided for about two seconds...then I went to my good friend Alice's wedding...and here I am again..the dresses, lighting, photography, decorations, food...Weddings are pretty much perfect...thank you  http://www.oncewed.com/ for ruining my concentration on homework everyday!

Thoughts

My beautiful friend Cassidy presented an idea to me, and that idea has bloomed like a flower. I missed the deadline to actually go to BYU, but it doesn't mean I can't live there. I am seriously considering moving there in the fall with two of my friends from BYU-I. Do you have any idea have amazing that would be!? And if I could manage to some how get a full time job...well words can hardly describe how great it would be! Just a totally new experience...Wow...I am so excited...I would go to institute, and the BYU activities, and read books in their giant library, and go to the incredible student exhibit!!!

Second, Sister Julie B. Beck said hi to me yesterday! I was studying upstairs in the MC by the big fireplace. She came out of a meeting and walked down the fall. I assumed she was gone forever, but she came back. I wondered if she'd see me! I was still in my church clothes and reading the scriptures. I looked at her and she looked me in the eye, got the biggest warmest smile I've ever seen, and waved! I was elated! I waved back and tried to give the biggest smile I could muster! And I know she was looking at me because I was the only person in there! She is incredible. I can feel the love she has for the women of this gospel. It was the best thing.

I love my friend Cassidy, a lot. And her roommates are amazing. I came over and we made up songs about Justin Bieber and his glasses compared to sunsets. And danced around like crazy people. And they have a cardboard castle, in their apartment! With a drawbridge! When you enter you say "let the drawbridge down!" And they have this string system to pull it down! Amazing.

Also, Boys are dumb. No big deal.

A Bunch Of Stuff

This morning Sister Jule B. Beck, the general Relief Society President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints spoke to the Relief Society of practically all of Southern Idaho in the BYU-Idaho center. It was incredible. She knows what she is talking about. She has a deep understanding of the gospel that penetrates her heart. The whole thing was just a Q and A. Women would stand up and ask questions, and she would answer. It was interesting. Some of the questions included personal situations like "I'm a recent convert...I'm a single mother...My children have strayed from the church...I'm single..." But every answer always came back to Christ. And what I find especially interesting, is that people ask these individual questions and I wonder what kind of answer they are looking for. I know many of these women sincerely were seeking revelation and inspiration from Sister Beck's answers, but other times I think they were looking for an exact answer, like a list of things to do.

Literally every answer included to read your scriptures. One girl asked what can we do besides diligent scripture study and prayer to prepare for a mission. Sister Beck struggled to find an answer. To make the words of the scriptures a part of you is so all encompassing. I think sometimes we (myself included) look for these complicated detailed answers. But we go about it all wrong. It is through sincere study and prayer that the answers come from inside us. Then we truly know because the Holy Spirit has answered our questions from within. In a sense, it is a complicated thing to read the scriptures, and yet so incredibly simple. I have a new goal to read for 30 minutes every day and have already seen miracles come to my life as I've strived to do this.

But my favorite instruction she gave was to PREPARE TO GO ON A MISSION! She said we should always be preparing to serve a mission. So for me, individually, regardless if I get married this year or five years or whatever, I need to prepare to serve a mission. This will help in so many respects, with marriage, mission, or just my personal inspiration.

But side note complaint, some guys say to me "you should plan to go on a mission." (they think I would go just because I'm not married and have time to kill) Sister Beck addressed this, though, with saying to always prepare to go on a mission. BUT, sometimes it bums me out because I'm pretty sure guys are turned off to dating me if they find out about my thoughts of going on a mission. First, They know how great missions are and don't want to deter me from my chance of going myself with dating. Second, It takes me one step closer into the best friends zone (which seems to be my Oedipus Rex), because they feel so comfortable around me, thinking I have no intention of dating them.

But I digress, my life is good. I'm staying on campus all day to do homework and at 5 I'll go to Stake Conference. Now I just need to focus. Its game time.

I'm so Tired

Today has been great! I woke up 2 and a half hours early so I could take my time getting ready and read scriptures. All day I felt totally fine despite getting a little less sleep. But for some reason, once 5 o'clock rolls around, my energy and focus is totally spent, everyday.

I am too afraid to go home because I know I wont focus and most likely will waste time talking to roommates (not that thats a waste of time, but you know what I mean). So I walk around on campus, spend too much money on lunch/dinner, search for a choice studying spot, and call someone for a chat. Usually once this process is over its 6. Time to do homework. So I sit down get ready and read. Within about 10 minutes I'm dozing off. I think if I can sleep for just a little, I'll be good! So I sleep for about 8 minutes, most likely. Then go back to reading. I'm in a spot that has minor traffic, so I listen to music while I study, usually Sigur Ros or Explosions in the Sky (I would listen to other stuff, but thats as good as it gets on my ipod). Ethics usually takes me a little over an hour to read 10 pages. And now its 7. I've decided the life expectancy for each spot I study in is one hour, then I usually move. Now its time for Writing and Environmental Stewardship.

Ok, so pretty much I am exhausted. To the point that some minor dumb thing is most likely going to make me lose it. Which is terrible because I need to do my homework. Its just hard too because I always study in the MC/Library because I don't want to walk to another building. That'd mean I have to go outside! But in the MC I've walked buy the swing dance room, the people chatting and eating at the Crossroads, the fancy poetry slam, improv performing, and hear the laughter of the people bowling. It kills. Because when it starts getting late and everyone plays, I stay in the library to start my homework.

I love my job and am so grateful to have one. But for some reason, I'm still not pro at balancing my life out.

Anyways, yesterday I had straight A's!!! But I'm back to a high B in Philosophy. NBD.

Some Favorite Modern Bands...of all time

As I sit here putting off my Philosophy homework, I can't help but think of some of my favorite modern bands of all time. There is some stinkin great old music. But all that aside, I'd like to formulate a little list, if you don't mind. In no particular order, here are three of my favorite modern bands:

1. Sigur Ros. I've mentioned before my undying love for this band. All their lyrics are Icelandic or a language they make up. Either way, I don't know what in the world their saying. But I love it. Its as if their voice is simply another instrument. In fact, they make instruments out of the earth in Iceland. They are incredibly humble and extremely brilliant. Their music takes me to another world entirely. Friends I have who have seen their concert say its the best they've ever seen. Sadly, they are no longer together. But solo projects keeps the spirit of Sigur Ros somewhat alive.

2. Radiohead. Though I do not listen to them very often, my appreciation for them is vast. They just came out with a new album last week and I've been listening to two of the songs repeatedly. I've yet to truly venture into the rest. But wow. Radiohead is synonymous with nonconformity. They do everything to be undetermined and out of the influence of media.

3. Explosions in the Sky. When I listen to their music it is as if they take my heart and place it in an emotion, happiness, peace, distress, confusion, despair, clarity, etc. With no lyrics whatsoever, they fill my head with thoughts and transport my spirit. My friends who have seen this band always say they cried.

I am going to put up a playlist with a few songs from these bands. These songs in no way do justice to the brilliance of their music. But what the heck.

This is...my 50th POST!!!!

Everybody! Today is an important day in my life. Not because its the day after Valentines, but because it is my 50th post! Que whispered screams

Anyways, my life is insane in the membrane. This week is so totes crazy I don't know how much longer it will be before I have a total mental breakdown. BUT, it has yet to happen. So that is good news to be sure!

Its LIBRARY WEEK! So the great used book sale is going on! I bought three records: Oklahoma, The King and I, and Sound of Music. Are you fetching kidding me. This is a serious contribution to my record collection. Too bad I don't have a record player.

I want to take pictures of my apartment and put them up. Faithful blog followers, I'm sorry you've had to go this long without seeing its brilliance. Because its pretty sweet :)

I met with the Philosophy tutor today. I could not put on my philosophy hat like I wanted to. But he told me this is not a test to throw off and that its pretty serious business. Therefore, I am scared. Like, really scared. This is the beginning stages of my mental breakdown.

But I discovered something very profound today to battle my stress. Its called: focus on the task at hand! When I am in I-Comm, I am thinking about making some sweet videos. Then in Humanities I am contemplating and analyzing film and Hitcock. Philosophy, what one ought to do. Science...well I usually don't focus on science...But I should start! Writing, ya pretty much I just try to get that work done...Futsal, its futsal time baby. And so on. Every task, one at a time. That is the only way I can handle the stress of this week.

Anyway, its late. Today I was on campus from 9:45am-9:00pm, came home for 40 minutes for dinner and to change for futsal. I still need to finish my homework, clean my room, and go to bed as quickly as possible.

My life is good. Real good.