Here I go again...

Maybe the best wedding picture of all time...Just sayin

I'm in love...

with this dress...

Love natural lighting

This picture needs no explanation for its brilliance.

I LOVE the blurry. 

beautiful...

I have all but decided I want a pale pink wedding dress like this...Or I just want this dress...

vintage victory :)

Well my wedding obsession subsided for about two seconds...then I went to my good friend Alice's wedding...and here I am again..the dresses, lighting, photography, decorations, food...Weddings are pretty much perfect...thank you  http://www.oncewed.com/ for ruining my concentration on homework everyday!

Thoughts

My beautiful friend Cassidy presented an idea to me, and that idea has bloomed like a flower. I missed the deadline to actually go to BYU, but it doesn't mean I can't live there. I am seriously considering moving there in the fall with two of my friends from BYU-I. Do you have any idea have amazing that would be!? And if I could manage to some how get a full time job...well words can hardly describe how great it would be! Just a totally new experience...Wow...I am so excited...I would go to institute, and the BYU activities, and read books in their giant library, and go to the incredible student exhibit!!!

Second, Sister Julie B. Beck said hi to me yesterday! I was studying upstairs in the MC by the big fireplace. She came out of a meeting and walked down the fall. I assumed she was gone forever, but she came back. I wondered if she'd see me! I was still in my church clothes and reading the scriptures. I looked at her and she looked me in the eye, got the biggest warmest smile I've ever seen, and waved! I was elated! I waved back and tried to give the biggest smile I could muster! And I know she was looking at me because I was the only person in there! She is incredible. I can feel the love she has for the women of this gospel. It was the best thing.

I love my friend Cassidy, a lot. And her roommates are amazing. I came over and we made up songs about Justin Bieber and his glasses compared to sunsets. And danced around like crazy people. And they have a cardboard castle, in their apartment! With a drawbridge! When you enter you say "let the drawbridge down!" And they have this string system to pull it down! Amazing.

Also, Boys are dumb. No big deal.

A Bunch Of Stuff

This morning Sister Jule B. Beck, the general Relief Society President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints spoke to the Relief Society of practically all of Southern Idaho in the BYU-Idaho center. It was incredible. She knows what she is talking about. She has a deep understanding of the gospel that penetrates her heart. The whole thing was just a Q and A. Women would stand up and ask questions, and she would answer. It was interesting. Some of the questions included personal situations like "I'm a recent convert...I'm a single mother...My children have strayed from the church...I'm single..." But every answer always came back to Christ. And what I find especially interesting, is that people ask these individual questions and I wonder what kind of answer they are looking for. I know many of these women sincerely were seeking revelation and inspiration from Sister Beck's answers, but other times I think they were looking for an exact answer, like a list of things to do.

Literally every answer included to read your scriptures. One girl asked what can we do besides diligent scripture study and prayer to prepare for a mission. Sister Beck struggled to find an answer. To make the words of the scriptures a part of you is so all encompassing. I think sometimes we (myself included) look for these complicated detailed answers. But we go about it all wrong. It is through sincere study and prayer that the answers come from inside us. Then we truly know because the Holy Spirit has answered our questions from within. In a sense, it is a complicated thing to read the scriptures, and yet so incredibly simple. I have a new goal to read for 30 minutes every day and have already seen miracles come to my life as I've strived to do this.

But my favorite instruction she gave was to PREPARE TO GO ON A MISSION! She said we should always be preparing to serve a mission. So for me, individually, regardless if I get married this year or five years or whatever, I need to prepare to serve a mission. This will help in so many respects, with marriage, mission, or just my personal inspiration.

But side note complaint, some guys say to me "you should plan to go on a mission." (they think I would go just because I'm not married and have time to kill) Sister Beck addressed this, though, with saying to always prepare to go on a mission. BUT, sometimes it bums me out because I'm pretty sure guys are turned off to dating me if they find out about my thoughts of going on a mission. First, They know how great missions are and don't want to deter me from my chance of going myself with dating. Second, It takes me one step closer into the best friends zone (which seems to be my Oedipus Rex), because they feel so comfortable around me, thinking I have no intention of dating them.

But I digress, my life is good. I'm staying on campus all day to do homework and at 5 I'll go to Stake Conference. Now I just need to focus. Its game time.

I'm so Tired

Today has been great! I woke up 2 and a half hours early so I could take my time getting ready and read scriptures. All day I felt totally fine despite getting a little less sleep. But for some reason, once 5 o'clock rolls around, my energy and focus is totally spent, everyday.

I am too afraid to go home because I know I wont focus and most likely will waste time talking to roommates (not that thats a waste of time, but you know what I mean). So I walk around on campus, spend too much money on lunch/dinner, search for a choice studying spot, and call someone for a chat. Usually once this process is over its 6. Time to do homework. So I sit down get ready and read. Within about 10 minutes I'm dozing off. I think if I can sleep for just a little, I'll be good! So I sleep for about 8 minutes, most likely. Then go back to reading. I'm in a spot that has minor traffic, so I listen to music while I study, usually Sigur Ros or Explosions in the Sky (I would listen to other stuff, but thats as good as it gets on my ipod). Ethics usually takes me a little over an hour to read 10 pages. And now its 7. I've decided the life expectancy for each spot I study in is one hour, then I usually move. Now its time for Writing and Environmental Stewardship.

Ok, so pretty much I am exhausted. To the point that some minor dumb thing is most likely going to make me lose it. Which is terrible because I need to do my homework. Its just hard too because I always study in the MC/Library because I don't want to walk to another building. That'd mean I have to go outside! But in the MC I've walked buy the swing dance room, the people chatting and eating at the Crossroads, the fancy poetry slam, improv performing, and hear the laughter of the people bowling. It kills. Because when it starts getting late and everyone plays, I stay in the library to start my homework.

I love my job and am so grateful to have one. But for some reason, I'm still not pro at balancing my life out.

Anyways, yesterday I had straight A's!!! But I'm back to a high B in Philosophy. NBD.

Some Favorite Modern Bands...of all time

As I sit here putting off my Philosophy homework, I can't help but think of some of my favorite modern bands of all time. There is some stinkin great old music. But all that aside, I'd like to formulate a little list, if you don't mind. In no particular order, here are three of my favorite modern bands:

1. Sigur Ros. I've mentioned before my undying love for this band. All their lyrics are Icelandic or a language they make up. Either way, I don't know what in the world their saying. But I love it. Its as if their voice is simply another instrument. In fact, they make instruments out of the earth in Iceland. They are incredibly humble and extremely brilliant. Their music takes me to another world entirely. Friends I have who have seen their concert say its the best they've ever seen. Sadly, they are no longer together. But solo projects keeps the spirit of Sigur Ros somewhat alive.

2. Radiohead. Though I do not listen to them very often, my appreciation for them is vast. They just came out with a new album last week and I've been listening to two of the songs repeatedly. I've yet to truly venture into the rest. But wow. Radiohead is synonymous with nonconformity. They do everything to be undetermined and out of the influence of media.

3. Explosions in the Sky. When I listen to their music it is as if they take my heart and place it in an emotion, happiness, peace, distress, confusion, despair, clarity, etc. With no lyrics whatsoever, they fill my head with thoughts and transport my spirit. My friends who have seen this band always say they cried.

I am going to put up a playlist with a few songs from these bands. These songs in no way do justice to the brilliance of their music. But what the heck.

This is...my 50th POST!!!!

Everybody! Today is an important day in my life. Not because its the day after Valentines, but because it is my 50th post! Que whispered screams

Anyways, my life is insane in the membrane. This week is so totes crazy I don't know how much longer it will be before I have a total mental breakdown. BUT, it has yet to happen. So that is good news to be sure!

Its LIBRARY WEEK! So the great used book sale is going on! I bought three records: Oklahoma, The King and I, and Sound of Music. Are you fetching kidding me. This is a serious contribution to my record collection. Too bad I don't have a record player.

I want to take pictures of my apartment and put them up. Faithful blog followers, I'm sorry you've had to go this long without seeing its brilliance. Because its pretty sweet :)

I met with the Philosophy tutor today. I could not put on my philosophy hat like I wanted to. But he told me this is not a test to throw off and that its pretty serious business. Therefore, I am scared. Like, really scared. This is the beginning stages of my mental breakdown.

But I discovered something very profound today to battle my stress. Its called: focus on the task at hand! When I am in I-Comm, I am thinking about making some sweet videos. Then in Humanities I am contemplating and analyzing film and Hitcock. Philosophy, what one ought to do. Science...well I usually don't focus on science...But I should start! Writing, ya pretty much I just try to get that work done...Futsal, its futsal time baby. And so on. Every task, one at a time. That is the only way I can handle the stress of this week.

Anyway, its late. Today I was on campus from 9:45am-9:00pm, came home for 40 minutes for dinner and to change for futsal. I still need to finish my homework, clean my room, and go to bed as quickly as possible.

My life is good. Real good.

Homework

As I sit here at nearly 1:00 in the morning, I have this incredibly weight on my solders, and its name is HOMEWORK.

Ethics: write a paper, read a chapter, take a quiz

Humanities: read a chapter

D&C: read, write a journal, write a mid-term paper

Writing: finish Synthesis essay, get it together

Environmental Stewardship: quiz, rewrite blog entry

This all needs to be done in the next two days. Easy. Childs play.

Random Time:

-Today was incredible

-I am terribly sore :)

-I fell on my back as I went to kick the ball playing Futsal

-I was the only girl on my Futsal team today

-We lost, BUT we made our first point just as the buzzer went off! We ran around like we won the game. It was probably the best moment of our Futsal Team experience.

-Today in Ethics I discovered I am an Objectivist again! Oh how I love truth.

-In peer editing in Writing the brilliant guy I sit by said my paper was "genius" :)

-I got FULL bangs today baby!

-Also new sweet layers!

-I have not been working enough at all :/

-I have been working out though!

-Endorphins are the beez neez. 

-Valentines is on Monday. No big deal.

-My aunt Rachel is amazing and sent me Peanut Butter Delights in the mail from California!!!

-I've only got two left...

-I watched Fantastic Mr. Fox and it is still one of my favorite movies ever.

-We are watching North By Northwest in Humanities. Life couldn't be any better.

HOMEWORK. I have decided I am taking too many classes. 

Alone

I love my major, I'm not sure if I've mentioned that before? Alright...we all know I have, and that I may have exhausted the topic...But let it be known, I am in love with the Humanities...

But here's the thing. There is a building on campus and it is called the Spori building. Its where all the visual arts have their classes. Where the incredible student art gallery is. And frankly its a beautiful building. I always see students busily running around with art projects in hand. Or groups of students working together on some project. There is always a sense of belonging in there. They all LOVE as well as CREATE art TOGETHER. It is a sense of community that I have yet to experience. I wish so badly I could join in their art club (and I intend to with photography and video).

Just recently in my Humanities class I've been getting in to minor disagreements with students and even my teacher about Aesthetics and what is good and worth while about art. In a sense, I've been defending "bad" things. Only because the total absence of bad does not at all make it good. I am interested in art, not entertainment. I couldn't care less about entertainment. And I want to be uplifted and enlighten by everything I see, read or watch. But there were actually people in my Humanities class who disagreed. Saying they already know enough about the world and society because they live in it (and I'm not talking about the "world," I'm talking about the very essence of humanity!!!). They don't need to read about it. I was shocked. There must have been a misunderstanding. I found out a later one of my friends overheard a girl talking and said "you know I think I agree with Taylor..." So I know I've got one person on my team!

Its just I have such a passion for the Humanities. So much so that I could bust. And could talk about it all day. I long to be a part of a Spori-like society. Where people like me can gather and rant about obscure artwork without being thought of as weird.

And I do have friends who I can talk to about this. Becca at work is for sure someone I love talking to about the arts. And I am so grateful for people who will listen to me go on and on about what I've learned that day.

I just wish people would come out of the cave, open their hearts, and realize the beauty that is around them.

ART I have been Contemplating as of Late:

Jose Orozco painted Prometheus in the dinging hall of a college in California. I just wrote an essay today about  this painting. Students have complained and expressed sincere discomfort because this large mural is unavoidable as they try to eat their lunch; requesting that it be painted over. Prometheus was a Titan who brought fire to humans. Zeus punished him for stealing and sharing the fire. The fire represents intellect and enlightenment. My favorite part of  the painting is some of the people reach toward the fire with open arms, and others look away, preoccupied. Similarly, students reach for their education, while others find themselves occupied with other matters. And of course, I say heck no, it should not be painted over.

Pieta by Michelangelo is my favorite sculpture ever. Learning more and more about the Catholic image of Mary is amazing.  According to them, she came to this earth to work directly with Christ in his mission to deliver us from sin. Pieta is a beautiful image of Mary holding Christ's body, and usually John the Evangelist is there, and Joseph of Arimathea are in the picture. 

Birth of Venis by Botticelli.
The Platonic beauty of this piece is incredible. Venus is perfect in beauty. It makes you enlightened and seek for the perfection we had in the life before this.

Goya's Saturn Devouring His Son may or may not be the most disturbing painting of all time. He painted this during a very dark time in his life. Its from a series of paintings called the Black Paintings (I believe). This was painted straight on to his dining room wall and he never intended it for it to be seen by the public. He often painted social injustice.

 

I want to go to GRADUATE SCHOOL!

So today my amazing Humanities professor sat down with me and talked out potential careers I could have with a degree in Humanities. I never really considered a graduate program thinking it is too expensive...and basically that is the only reason...But I discovered the Art History and Curatorial Studies Masters Program at BYU!!!!! I want to do it so badly! I am well on my way to getting in to the program. There are only five students in the program right now...so I'd have to work hard to get in. But I am so thrilled! When I get this degree I could be a Museum Curator, Librarian, or Teacher!!!! Hello legit career options! In your face Humanities haters! :)

ALSO! Current aspirations:

Learn French (I need to for both my Bachelors and Masters anyways)

Become a really sleek photographer

Get straight A's

Go to yoga once a week

Create a seriously beautiful short film (which is very likely to happen this week or next)

Learn to cook

Finish all the Sigur Ros documentaries